Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
