Soap is not a condiment
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
