His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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