i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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