I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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