She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
