I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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