ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I cockslap morals
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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