i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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