just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
