I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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