You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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