Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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