So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
