He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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