plz talk dirty to me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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