Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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