New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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