____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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