mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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