I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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