shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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