i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
please don't ironically join a cult
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