What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
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did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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