Swine flu. Run for my life!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
