I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I wear drunk well.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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