You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
