11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
