Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
