why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
