True but thats because hes a fetus.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
