their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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