Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
