He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
