I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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