Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
