I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just google imaged poop.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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