dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Farmville is her only friend.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
