bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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