She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
