Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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