its not stalking. its research.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
