What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
