That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
