There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
