he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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