Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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