bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
