hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize