i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
