Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.