The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale