I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we made out on top of his cat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.