Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog