My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm passing your future prison.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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