My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
