A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize