She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
