I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
