And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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