he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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