areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize