Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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