well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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