I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
